Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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