I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
