is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
