i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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