There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize