I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think my moral compass just broke
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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