WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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