After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
