K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You're a waste of cheezeits
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
