So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
