Whod you bang
wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
