if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
