My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
