I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize