Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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