sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
