who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Randomize
