he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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