Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
