That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
