you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
