there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
