do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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