GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
