whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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