Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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