Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this will be a night to untag.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
