help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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