Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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