Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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