I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize