I feel like abortions should bother me more
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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