My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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