pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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