I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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