I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we're making bets on your personal life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
