oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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