If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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