I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
