my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
