Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
