He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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