girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
