The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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