chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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