Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
