feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
