I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
