You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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