There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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