My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she smelled like a LAN party
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it's great music for shaving your balls
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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