Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
