I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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