You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
