I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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