Don't you send me to vm
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
