This is not my ceiling
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
