cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize