): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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