i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
