my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Use "feeling words"
Yay
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
