Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize